Probably one of the more forgetable characters on the Simpsons is poor old loveable loser Gil Gunderson. Poor Gil who sucked at every job he ever had and could never hold down steady employment. Gil always seems to be just one big break away but always a day late and a dollar short.
We all know someone like that. The crazy uncle who surfs the family’s couches and who’s career path consists of failed pyramid schemes, illicit gambling and scratch tickets. He rails at the world about how he just can’t seem to get a fair shake and blames politicians, maybe a few ethnic groups and his 3rd ex wife for everything that has happened to him. After all, it can’t be uncle Gil’s fault, riiiiiiggghtt?
Let’s look at reality. Looking for work either because you are out of work or stuck in the proverbial shitty job sucks and it can reduce the toughest and most resilient person to a shivering sobbing shell. It is psychologically taxing as job seekers have to work through rejection, financial stresses, uncertainty and then all of the other adult crap that all deal with on a daily basis. It causes OCD, anxiety, fear, paranoia and probably multiple personality disorder.
I came upon this very interesting study this week that was coverd in this article.
Researches have defined a new personality construct called the Tendency for Interpersonal Victimhood or TIV for short. You can read it for the details on the study, as I won’t cover that. The biggest takeaway I had though is that TIV is a trait that has four dimensions. These dimensions are moral elitism, a lack of empathy, the need for recognition, and rumination.
Before I expound on these four dimensions, I would first like to say that victimhood is something we should all try to avoid. Victimhood at its most extreme is taking absolutely no responsibility for our actions or the consequences in our lives. Granted, shit happens, I get it. But I also believe that what defines a person isn’t what happens to them but how they respond. Also, if you have a victim mentality, you are going to have a harder time getting hired. TIVvy (sp?) type of people tend to toxic and not good for maintiaining high workplace morrale. If you find yourself slipping into the TIV mindset, it is good to understand it so as to avoid it.
Self-knowledge is a discipline, and I recommend reading lots of self-help books. The better you know yourself the better you will feel and interview. This is actually a great book which I highly recommend, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson. (It got me through my divorce).
So back to the study and the four dimensions. The first element is moral elitism. Basically, this is thinking you never do anything wrong and everyone around you is an amoral satan worshipper. The good old my shit doesn’t stink syndrome. These are typically not fun people to be around. The pitfall here is feeling morally superior but also feeling as the only moral person that no one will hire you because they are all Godless heathens, topers and miscreants.
The second dimension is a lack of empathy. A lack of empathy is basically the definition of a psychopath. In between burying bodies in the garden and boiling their lover’s pet rabbit alive they typically do not see other people as humans but as tools to be used. If you think about it, not having empathy or feelings for other people much like the moral superiority prevents a person from seeing beyond themselves which is very limitting. It is definitely not good for workplace morale. You never want to work for one of these monsters, either.
The need for reconition is the third dimension. I beleive this has more with wanting to be the center of attention. It is a form of narcisism and egomania. When someone is constantly wanting all the credit. The pitfall here is that any sort of failure or rejection, like in a job search can start a tailspin towards dispair.
The tailspin of dispair can then lead to our final dimension, which is rumination. Rumination is obssessive and repetitive dwelling on something negative. This is a very hard state to get out of which leads to other negative and obssessive behaviors.
Finally, to help you if you are in a negative cycle it helps to have hobbies to take your mind off of the job search. Good ways to get out of rumination include exercise, reading, bing watching tv shows, spending time with a loved one, playing an instrument and shampooing the rug. Basically, find something to do besides ruminate. Set a time for job searching and have some downtime, because it is good for your mental and emotional health.