The interview is over. You dazzled them, maybe they sang your praises in the interview, you sang Sweet Caroline in 3 part harmony together and swapped recipes. Your soon to be new BFF’s are going to be calling you with a job offer…maybe. Oh no, it’s 2 hours later. Now it’s the middle of the night and your inner self-hatred monkey is on your shoulder screaming all of the mistakes you made into your head and the reasons why you won’t get the job and you don’t deserve it. Emotion takes over, you don’t sleep, you work yourself into an anxiety and pour yourself a drink as you sit in the kitchen at 4:30 in the morning brooding over this pending offer and if it will come.
What if you could tell by certain signs and signals that the offer is coming? I can’t promise to calm your nerves completely or shoot a tranquilizer dart into the back of the inner self-hatred monkey, but I can help you with some things to help make that monkey go chase bananas and leave you the fuck alone.
So what is an inner self-hatred monkey? The inner self-hatred monkey is that voice in your head that tells you that you aren’t good enough to apply for the job, ask for the raise, negotiate a salary, command respect, make a career change or cook a Thanksgiving Turkey without setting it on fire. It is the voice that says you are inadequate, undeserving and unable to take risks. Your monkey tells you to give up without trying because you are going to fail. Your monkey is an asshole and needs to be starved to death and hit by a car and maybe set on fire too!
But, I argue, from the movie, Risky Business, sometimes you just gotta say “WTF.” Sometimes you have to just be willing to put yourself out there and apply for the job you think you have no shot for, ask for the higher end of the salary range listed, and just advocate for yourself. The monkey won’t do that for you.
One of the best things you can do for yourself is to recognize the monkey and put him in his place when he rears his ugly head. The best way to do that is to appeal to reason. To recognize, in this case when things are looking good and you predict with abject certainty that a job offer is forthcoming. The way you can do this is by reading some of the signs which I am going to point out to you:
1) Your interviewer(s) talk about you in the future tense and in the 1st person plural. Words like “we”, “us” and “you will” are described as in certain terms that you will have the position. This is not a mistake. It is often done unconsciously but is a very certain indication that the interviewer is visualizing you in this position.
2) You are asked for references. Reference checking is a formality and it is something that most employers don’t particularly enjoy doing. The reference-checker is calling people who have most likely been coached to say good things about you. In return most references get bottles of wine, boxes of chocolate and beanie babies. If they don’t then you gotta make sure you are hitting up your references properly. If someone is willing to give you a good reference, give them some love!
3) You are asked “how soon can you start?” That is the equivalent of ordering something cool online and checking to see when the shipment is going to arrive. Basically, if this question is asked it often means “I found what I am looking for and I want that new hire in here now!”
4) Your interviewer complements you. When someone complements you, it is because they like you and they want you to feel accepted. If you are complemented for your job experience, communication skills, presentation or makeup application technique then your interviewer is reaching out to you and wanting you to love them too. They are saying “yes” and hoping that you will say “yes” too. Take the praise and run with it!
5) You are told to expect a call within a couple of days. Most applicants, even after 2nd and 3rd interviews are ghosted by prospective employers. No one likes having the “I swiped left” conversation so it easier to just ghost someone nowadays. If your potential employer has indicated that they will be contacting you soon, it most likely will not be to tell you that you are not getting the job. If they do, however, then kudos them for having the balls to tell you to your face. That is also a huge opportunity for you to ask why you didn’t get the job and ask for career advice. Who knows, they may be able to direct you to a comparable job elsewhere as most people like to help others. Maybe you made a connection and didn’t get the job, but now you have a resource! Pay attention. If you see these indicators during an interview then you need to recognize the opportunity.
If, however, you get ghosted and nothing materializes, then who knows what happened? Maybe management put out a hiring freeze, maybe the person who left the job before came crawling back, or maybe they fell in love with someone else. In any case it doesn’t matter. If you received these indicators during the interview, then you are interviewing well and you need to continue to carry your interviewing technique forward to future interviews. Don’t give up, you are on the right track!