How to get caught lying on your resumé. (How to make Pinocchio proud)

Lying. Everybody does it. Some people are good at it, others, not so much. From the 1 year old with chocolate all over her mouth who says she didn’t eat the candy on the table, to the politician who promises not to work for special interests to the car salesman who says that the transmission is fine despite the trail of transmission fluid leading from the road to the lot after your test drive, this article is for you!

“There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.” – Mark Twain

First and foremost, I can never encourage lying. When it comes to applying for jobs, it is important to point out that lies do have a way of coming back to bite you, as I pointed out in this entry here. This article is not intended to be a how not to get caught lying. Instead it is more of a map of landmines for you to avoid in preparing your resumé and presenting yourself. Remember what I said about your reputation?

Pinocchio, the ultimate body horror flick. Don’t believe me? Wait till you see what they did to his ears!

    References

This one seems pretty obvious. If you are dishonest stating your dates of employment or salary history and your prospective employer checks those things, then you are probably going to still be looking for a job for the foreseeable future.

Other things that people lie about are job titles, accomplishments, number of people supervised, sales numbers or the budget for their department / prior employer. Most companies will only confirm dates of employment and salary, but that is not always the case. Even if those are the only things verified, you can still get caught other ways!

    Educational verification

Maybe you went the George O’Leary route and lied about the school you attended. Or you could be like former Wal Mart VP of Corporate Communications David Tovar, who became former after it was disclosed that he had not in fact attained a BA from the University of Delaware. He claims he was a few credits short of a degree and even attended the graduation ceremony! Great, so I guess I can skip medical school and go to a Doctorate Graduation ceremony and then I can practice medicine. Would you like me to take that appendix out for you? I’m a doctor, let me get my tool box.

Some schools publish their list of graduates. A simple phone call or e-mail to the school asking for a verification can be done, or a request for an official transcript can be made to catch lying liars who lie about their education.

    Professional journals / published work

Maybe you published something in a magazine relevant to your industry. Those magazines often have a short paragraph of a biography about the writer. Maybe you participated in musical. The thing about musicals is that they have programs that often have biographies of the actors in them. These things are out there and many times are accessible on the internet. Better hope you have kept your story straight!

    Professional networks / industry groups

If your prospective boss at your potential new job belongs to some of the same professional groups that you do, then he or she could just ask a few friends in the group if they know you. The conversation could go something like this:

(Cast: PB = Prospective Boss; Rat = Person who is gonna rat you out)

PB: “We are thinking of hiring (insert your name here) for the position of Sales Manager. Do you think they would be a good fit with our company?”
Rat: “Oh, sure, I think so. I mean I know they were only over at CrapCo for 6 months and (your name) was one of their top salespeople at Beat Up Boxes of Junk Company prior to that.”
PB: “Wait, what? (your name) told me that they were VP of Sales and Market at Beat up Boxes and worked at CrapCo for 2 years. Are you sure.”

Now your dead, and your reputation is gonna take a hit, because Rat will talk to his buddies and now your dirty little secret that you are lying liar is known in your industry. Might be time to consider moving.

    Social Media or a Google Search

This is the easiest place to catch someone in a lie. Maybe it is as simple as things not matching up from your LinkedIn or Facebook profile to your resumé. Maybe it’s a picture of you on your former employer’s Twitter feed showing a picture in your office and listing you with a different title, or maybe you are absent from all of your company’s social media posts in an area where you would have had lots of visibility. Maybe you lied about the time you were unemployed and said it was a month, but have numerous job searching posts on Facebook for the last year and detailing the mental anguish of being unemployed. There are so many ways to burn yourself with your own words. Social Media posts should be treated like they are carved into stone.

A simple google search will work just as effectively and can catch you in the same ways as a publication, a bio or a social media post. A lot of employers will google applicant’s names even though some areas have tried to make it illegal for fear of a prospective employer using some discriminatory factor that is evident through social media or the internet as a reason for not hiring someone.

    Word of mouth

Hiring manager goes home and talks to his or her spouse. Mentions that they are looking at hiring you. Spouse says, “oh yes, (your name) is in my book club. (Your name) has been out of work for a while after getting fired at their last job.” Hiring manager didn’t know that you were terminated because in the interview you indicated that you left on your own terms. Oops.

So don’t lie and try to bullshit your way to getting hired. It’s so much easier when you don’t have to keep inventing new lies to cover up old ones. I’ll leave you with this quote:

“If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.” – Also Mark Twain