Think back to your first relationship, fourth marriage or maybe even your current relationship. Perhaps you are stewing on your computer after arguing for 2 hours because you bought the wrong Kleenex brand from the store. If that is the case, I would advise getting out of that relationship and then looking for a new job…probably in another city or state.
So, we all make the same mistakes in relationships…we stay too damn long. We stay hoping our (ex) partner will change or that the circumstances surrounding the bad relationship will change. It’s like the compulsive gambler who has dropped $5k playing blackjack who is hoping to break even. It is the sunk costs fallacy, that we have invested too much to ever justify walking away, so we keep throwing good money after bad money and only getting ourselves in a bigger hole.
Maybe we stay because we fear what it will do the other person, and how it may hurt them or are afraid of how they will react. We ignore our own needs for the fear of harming others.
So, you probably came here looking for career advice, and you are getting relationship advice. There is an ancient Chinese proverb that says, “when the roof caves in, get out” (Citation needed). When the roof caves in on your job, you need to get out. The trick is knowing when to get out and when to avoid having the roof fall on your head. I am going to discuss the early warning signs (creaking noises from above, random birds and bats getting in, or the ability to see the moon and starts at night).
Sign #1: You’re bored out of your mind. You are looking for things to do. You have hit a ceiling. You are almost a professional solitaire player. The steady paycheck is nice, but a challenge now and then would be a good thing. The thing about boredom is that it affects attitude and people will notice your increase surliness. Time to find a new job or take up Day Drinking.
Sign #2: Your boss / fellow employees are treating you differently. How so differently? Maybe your boss has stopped communicating with you. Meeting are happening without your knowledge. You have been cut out of the circle of trust. Somehow, you are not trusted or everyone knows that you are on your way out but you. This is the single most important warning sign that you are probably going to be fired as well. Trust your gut. If something feels off, it probably is a good time to update the ‘ole resumé.
Bottom line – beware the silent treatment!
Sign #3: Your job responsibilities have changed dramatically. Maybe you were brought on to manage the accounting department and now you are suddenly in charge of only Accounts Payable. Responsibilities have been shifted on to you that are way below your abilities. There could be some overlap here. Maybe you are bored like in #1 because all of the challenging aspects of your job have been moved from you elsewhere.
On the flip side, maybe you have been tasked with things way beyond your abilities. Maybe you are being set up to fail because someone wants you gone. Another sign if having too many tasks piled on you than can possibly be done in a 32-hour day.
Sign #4: A job posting has been created with your job duties. The equivalent of finding a significant other’s profile on Tinder.
Sign #5: Changes in the company. Maybe there have been layoffs. Perhaps the company lost its biggest customer. This will be sugar coated with reassurances that everything is fine. It is important to research industry trends and do your research if your company is publicly traded. Look at the analysts’ ratings and recommendation as that could be a good indication of the viability of your career at that point.
Sign #6: Culture clash. Maybe your boss is a practical jokester and you are not into that. Is this a hostile work environment? Is the culture sexist, ageist, or racist? Maybe the environment is overly religious and you are a witch. Political differences are a thing these days, and while we all should be able to get along and tolerate other opinions, if you lean one way you don’t want to be an echo chamber for the other side all day long either. Some jobs can be good, but some office environments can be intolerable.
Sign #7: You are underpaid and underappreciated. We work because we do have living needs and enjoy a paycheck, but our job is a part of our identity and we do it because we like to be appreciated for our talents and abilities. If you feel unacknowledged for your hard work and time and it also is not reflected in your paycheck, then find something more fulfilling. You deserve to be happy after all!
If you are in a job and are unhappy or feel out of place for any of the aforementioned reasons or maybe something I didn’t list, then remember, like in any relationship that isn’t working, it may be time to call it quits. Only unlike a relationship, it is frowned upon to go fishing for new partners while you are in a relationship, and some time alone for awhile is always a good thing. Of course, I guess the equivalent would be going the entrepreneurial route!