One surefire way to ace the interview is to read the job ad. The job ad can be very insightful as to what the hiring manager is looking for, at least one would think, but, if dissected properly can be a great tool for prepping to be THE SAVIOR. “How is this?” you ask.
When the hiring manager lists the qualifications for the position, you are getting insight into 2 sides of the hiring manager (or HM for short). The first insight you are getting is those qualifications that the HM can fall back on for justifying your hiring in case you don’t work out as a hire. Qualifications are a great CYA method for the HM.
The nice thing is some of these qualifications are not written in stone. Some of these can be countered with real world experience vs. an educational requirement, educational degree vs. years of experience, any qualification with the fact you aren’t a douche like the one they just fired a month ago — that is if they like you or not. It reminds me of one of my favorite exchanges in Pulp Fiction between Jules (Samuel L. Jackson) and Vincent ( John Travolta).
Jules:
Pigs are filthy animals. I don’t eat filthy animals.Vincent:
Bacon tastes gooood. Pork chops taste gooood.Jules:
Hey, sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I’d never know ’cause I wouldn’t eat the filthy motherf***er. Pigs sleep and root in shit. That’s a filthy animal. I ain’t eat nothin’ that ain’t got enough sense enough to disregard its own feces.Vincent:
How about a dog? Dogs eats its own feces.Jules:
I don’t eat dog either.Vincent:
Yeah, but do you consider a dog to be a filthy animal?Jules:
I wouldn’t go so far as to call a dog filthy but they’re definitely dirty. But, a dog’s got personality. Personality goes a long way.
So, class, what is the lesson to be learned here? For one, a lack of personality will land you on the chopping block, possibly with Leatherface from above. Basically, a personality goes a long way. You see, in the first minute or two, the HM is going to size you up and decide if they like you or not. They want to know that you are not going to get them in trouble. HM wants to keep her job too. No one likes job searching, not even HM’s! Any doubts, anxieties or fears that come up from the HM you need to make sure you put those to rest and assure them that you are not only qualified, but that you are not the bum who they blew out of here last week.
And that brings me to the second point of the job ad. The other reason those qualifications are there is because the bum they did blow out did not possess said qualifications. Either they hired someone underqualified or had too low of requirements when they listed the job the prior time. This is HM’s makeup hire, redemption time!
It also can be a chance to look for some red flags as well. It could be that the prior person in the job was exactly what they needed, but the job was too shitty for them to stay. The hours could have been ridiculous, the pay too little, a hostile work environment or the demands not at all related to what was initially communicated in the hiring process. Hopefully you read my little ditty on asking questions! All the more reason you should come armed to the teeth with questions. You are interviewing them too!
To close, here is some detail of some of the job qualifications I am sure you have or will run across:
Education: Kinda hard to fake this, but it has been done. I remember George O’Leary was hired as the new head football coach of Notre Dame. In his bio, which he had used for years he stated he earned 3 letters playing football for New Hampshire. Unfortunately when a local newspaper was doing a feature story on the new coach, they talked to New Hampshire who relayed that he never played a single down of football there. Needless to say, the Athletic Director was not impressed and asked about any other inaccuracies. It was also found that his Masters Degree from NYU-Stony Brook University was also fraudulent, since there was no such University. After 5 days of being hired, ‘ole George was let go. Lesson here – don’t lie about your education. Especially in the data age. These kinds of things have a way of coming back at you!
Experience: There are a few little creative liberties to take here, and everybody does to be sure. I always list the years I work at a place but never the month. Dec’02 – Jan’04 looks like 2 years if it is presented as 2002 – 2004 when it is in fact only 13 months. Generally in the HM’s mind, he is going to be checking boxes and if you don’t fit or you are under or way overqualified, best to address that in the cover letter or right away in the interview. Again, you want the HM’s anxiety level to be low.
Skills: Basically your chance to say “I can do that!!!!” If you have no matches here whatsoever, then you are probably applying for the wrong job.
Physical Attributes: This is also important on dating sites! Actually this is if you can meet the physical demands of the job. Again if you can’t then don’t apply. Be safe and don’t hurt yourself!
And finally, because these 2 drive me nuts when I see them in want ads, I could not let them go gentle into the night:
Ability to Multitask: Humans actually do not multitask. We are poor at it. We can divert our attention jumping from different things here and there, but I cannot balance my checkbook and roast a chicken at the same time. This can sometimes be a red flag of a very demanding workplace where they are expecting 1 person to do the work of 4.
Other Duties as Assigned: Wait until you see the shit we are gonna have you do that we won’t even tell you until your stuck! Bwahahahaha!
So be warned. Read the ad very carefully!!!!