There are many ways to find jobs. Some people stumble upon them and find jobs in unique ways. Sometimes desperate people do desperate things. There is no one surefire certain way to find a job. I have compiled a list, going from the easiest (and most ethical) to the most difficult and dangersous ways to finding a job. Here goes!
#1) Being born into the family business: Ah yes, Junior Black Sheep Van Moneybags is the VP and has just graduated college. He knows nothing of the business but man can he score some killer weed. Can’t get fired when you have the owner’s DNA. (Not taking away from the serious 2nd or 3rd generation business owners, as there are some really good ones out there, but there are some bad ones and they ain’t going anywhere anytime soon).
#2) Professional Networking: There are many resources at your disposal and you may not be awares. You have professional contacts from prior jobs, trade groups, alumni groups or even going to conferences and local events. Talking to lots of people in your field / industry is one of the most effective ways to find a job.
#3) Personal Networking: This is one of those things that can piggy-back and lead to a professional networking opportunity. Letting your friends, fellow choir members and bridge club know that you are looking for a job could lead to an “I know a guy” moment.
#4) Social Media: I could have probably lumped this together with job boards, but there are lots of Facebook Groups, LinkedIn connections et al that act as kind of hybrids between applying for jobs the old fashioned way and networking.
#5) Job boards: Indeed, Glassdoor, Monster, Craigslist, etc… Fun fact, a job searching consultant I knew once told me that less than 10% of new hires made are made applying directly. Most are made through networking. I have nothing to base this on other than that’s what I have heard, but he was adamant about it. Some serious food for thought.
#6) Start your own business: Tired of working for the man? Work for yourself. I don’t have this higher ranked because starting ones’ own business is risky, time-consuming, can require some serious start up capital and requires a lot of the networking elements listed above. However, many business owners will swear it is the best thing that they have ever done. If you can swing it financially for the first year or two and can take a step back, it can be very lucrative over the long haul.
#7) Become a franchisee: Similar to starting a business. Be wary of scams though. Some franchisee fees can be a bit steep, but there are great support networks for franchisees from the franchisors. There are many publications and websites dedicated to helping prospective franchisees find franchisors.
#8) Freelance: Why not show off your talents and make some extra coin doing so. It could lead to a job reference, a contact for networking or maybe even a direct hire!
#9) Headhunters: Headhunters can put you in front of the right people. There are advantages and disadvantages of course.
#10) Employment Agencies / Temp Work: Employement angencies can be good resources and have lots of contacts and have many advantages. Similar to freelancing, but has its benefits and disadvantages.
#11) Job Fairs: Job Fairs are great places to find jobs and get in front of potential employers. However, they are the equivalent of speed dating, and given the volume of other job seekers, it can be that much harder to make a lasting impression. A lot of times the people in the area of the company where you want to work are not even there as many companies only send HR representatives. A lot of good entry level jobs can be found this way, though.
#12) Paid Internships: Again, similar to the last 2 entries. Very ideal if you are a college student and have a free summer.
#13) Anonymous letter writing campaign: Get a mailing list. Jot off a bunch of random e-mails to people you don’t know with your resume. It’s worth a shot, right? Kind of the equivalent of fishing in the dark.
#14) Random conversations with strangers: Tell the random stranger on the bus or the park bench that you are indeed looking for job opportunities. Who knows? Maybe the person in the bathroom stall next to you is an untapped resource. Although based on your olfactory observations, you might be able to help them by recommending a dietician!
#15) Networking with your drinking buddies: What about those crazy friends at the bar? They have lots of great ideas, especially after a few pops. Some of their job searching ideas may even appear farther down this list.
#16) Bathroom Wall Graffiti / Bar Napkins: I have gleaned a lot of wisdom from the stall wall. Apparently, many good times can be had by calling the number on the wall. Perhaps a job lead can as well!
#17) Unsolicited e-mails / Paying to Apply: Oh! Look at that! I can have a solid job, but I just have to pay this guy $50 for the lead or submit my resumé. And the headhunting firm is in Russia, so it must be legit.
#18) Quid Pro Quo / Sleeping with the hiring manager: Probably not much explanation is needed here. On the plus side, if it doesn’t work out, you have grounds for a lawsuit in all 50 states.
#19) Join a pyramid scheme: It says a lot about pyramid schemes that I rank them below prostitution. Amway, Herbalife, or whatever, they are all garbage. No one has ever gotten rich at a pyramid scheme except for the assholes who started the scheme. I would recommend betting on horse races by drawing numbers out of a hat before recommending a pyramid scheme.
#20) Blackmail / Stalking / Intimidation: These are effective methods of snagging that job. Unfortunately, they are pretty much illegal. But, if you have the spare time to stake out your hiring manager in the bushes and track their migration patterns, then that is an option! Sending daily reminders and fingernail clippings and pictures of their family members is effective as well.
#20+1) Murder (Mafia-Style Job Searching): Anyone who stands in your way…whack ‘em. Whack your way all the way to the CEO position. The trick is not getting caught though.
